Dreamscape
by Starla
Summary: Buffy and Angel have been sharing dreams again.


Dreamscape

Dreamscape 

by Starla

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all.   
Distribution: Take it, just send me the address.   
Author's Notes:. This is after A New Man. (_(I like to crush...crush now?)_)   
Author's Notes 2: Stephen Cassettari owns all poems unless otherwise specified.   
Summary: Buffy and Angel are sharing dreams again.  
Feedback: I'm a junkie. I've actually joined the FBA (Feedback Anonymous.) 

Riley watched Buffy as she slept during Psyche class, shaking his head. He knew that she'd had to stay up late slaying the night before, but he really wished she could pay attention. 

Still... 

She looked so cute when she was sleeping. 

She arched her neck in her sleep, and he could see her lips moving, but couldn't make out the words. 

He glanced at Willow, but she was staring out the window, her fingers lacing around her silver necklace. 

He sighed. 

Buffy Summers would always remain a mystery to him. 

***** 

__

Buffy moaned as Angel trailed kisses down her neck. She was vaguely aware that they were dreaming, but she had no power to change the dream. 

Neither of them did. 

Sorta like their lives. 

He bit down on her jugular, just lightly, not feeding, just suckling lightly at her throat. "Mmmmm....Angel...." She whispered, threading her fingers through his hair, gripping at the back of his head. 

He pulled away, gently laying her down against the soft sheets. She could hear music playing in the background, but the words eluded her, the notes of the music fleeing from her mind as soon as she had heard them. 

She raised a hand and ran it down his cheek, for the moment not thinking about the fact that he would be gone when she woke. 

For now, he was there, with her. 

It was enough. 

His hands roamed over her belly, tugging at her shirt a little. He lifted her slightly, untying the neck of her halter top, sliding it over her head. He leaned down, moving his lips over her collar bone and down her chest, then he took her hand and kissed each fingertip. 

She pulled his head to her level, pressing her lips against his, kissing him with a soft sweetness that could never be duplicated. 

She was thoroughly enjoying herself, until someone else's touch invaded her mind. 

And immediately, she was pulled from the dreamscape. 

Angel frowned, sat up, and looked around. He lifted a hand and scratched his head. 

"Damn." 

****

Buffy frowned as she surfaced back to reality. 

Willow was shaking her. "Class is over." She said, smiling. "What where you dreaming about? Cos it looked pretty pleasant..." 

Buffy blushed, standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Nothing." 

"Nothing Shmothing. You can't lie to Auntie Willow." 

"Later, ok, Will?" Buffy said, glancing quickly at Riley. 

Willow shrugged. "Ok. Listen, I'm going for supplies, so I'll see you at home?" 

Buffy nodded, and noticed Professor Walsh staring at her. 

She bit her lip and walked over to her. "Professor Walsh, I'm *so* sorry, I-" She started, but the Professor held up a hand, silencing her. 

"Miss Summers, I'm aware of your special circumstances. I also know, however, that you are no longer needed to slay regularly. The Initiative can handle the hostiles." 

Buffy repressed the urge to snort. "With all due respect, Professor Walsh, you are underestimating both me and the power of the hellmouth. I've seen things you couldn't even imagine." 

"Such as?" 

"Ever seen a group of students possessed by hyenas? Or the entire population of a town falling in love with one boy? Or everybody's nightmares becoming reality?" She paused. "Ever been to hell?" 

"You've been to hell?" Riley asked, shocked. 

Buffy didn't reply, just stared at Professor Walsh, who was staring at her. 

"I want to see you in the field. Do you mind if we accompany you on patrol?" 

Buffy frowned. "I suppose." 

__

But if you get in my way.... 

****

Part 2 

Angel frowned as he strode into the office, dropping into his chair. This was the fifth day in a week that he'd shared a dreamland rendezvous with Buffy. 

It was stressful to say the least. 

Cordelia walked into the office, smiling and carrying a fresh bouquet of flowers. She put them in a vase on his desk, then stared at him long and hard. "What's with the Buffy face??" 

He blinked. _ Damnit, when did she get to know me so well??? _

"Well? Spit it out, cos I ain't got all day."She paused. "Well, actually I do, but I'm not a patient woman." 

"So I noticed." He replied. 

"Don't make me stake you, brood boy." 

He sighed. "I've been sharing dreams with Buffy." 

"What sort of dreams?" 

****

"Naked dreams." Buffy told Willow, flopping down on the bed. 

"Well, that's understandable, I mean Riley is a pretty good-looking guy." 

Buffy bit her lip. "These are more...Angel-y." 

"Angel-y?" Willow repeated, her brilliant smile falling. 

"We're sharing dreams again, Will." Buffy sighed. 

"Dreams? As in plural??" 

"Five so far." 

"Have you spoken to Giles?" 

**** 

"I phoned him last night. He couldn't find anything. He looked into the return of the First, but I haven't been experiencing any of the other...symptoms." Angel said. 

"So you're just sharing dreams for no reason whatsoever???" Cordy asked, frowning. 

He shrugged. "Maybe." 

She bit her lip. "I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, Angel, but maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something." 

**** 

"Still doesn't explain the communal dreaming." Buffy said, rubbing at her forehead. 

"Maybe it does. You guys had...have...a pretty deep connection." Willow smiled sadly. "Maybe it's rebelling against being broken." 

She gave Buffy one more sympathetic grin before picking up her bag and exiting the room. 

Buffy sat in silence for the next hour, thinking about what Willow had said. 

****

Part 3 

__

Buffy smiled at Angel, lifting her hand and drizzling the melted chocolate over his broad chest. She swirled her fingers through the brown substance, which was already hardening thanks to Angel's cool skin. 

"Y'Know, I could do this all day." She grinned, licking off one of her fingers. "Angel covered in chocolate." She tilted her head to the side. "Perfection." 

"No, perfection would be..." He dipped his hand in the bowl of chocolate, then traced his fingers over her lips. 

She giggled and leaned down to kiss him, sharing the chocolatey goodness. 

He returned the kiss eagerly, rolling them over, sending the chocolate bowl tumbling to the floor. 

******** 

Buffy smiled to herself as she awoke from her nap, sliding her hand over the bed, looking for her lover. 

Her face crumpled as she realized she was alone in the dorm room. 

She'd fallen asleep while reading, and her Psyche notes surrounded her, some of them floating to the floor as she moved. 

"Damn it." She muttered before setting about cleaning them up. 

She glanced at the clock. She had 3 hours til she was to meet Riley and Professor Walsh at Restfield Cemetery. 

She sighed. 

Back to the Books. 

******** 

Angel raised a hand to his chest, running it over the smooth skin. 

It was clean. 

He pulled his knees to chin, wrapping his arms around his ankles. 

And the tears began to fall. 

****

Part Four 

__

Candlelight flickered though the room as Buffy laid with her head on Angel's stomach, relishing the lingering caress of Angel's fingers as he ran them up and down her back. 

"Be gentle with my wounded soul, lest the blood dripping from my eyes may stain your tender heart." He read to her aloud from a book of poetry, his rich voice a throaty whisper that echoed throughout the rooms. . 

She closed her eyes and let the words wash over her, twisting her fingers through his. She could feel his body vibrate with each word. She smiled. It was a nice feeling. 

"Angel?" she whispered. 

"Yes, My love?" He replied, leaning down and kissing her head. 

"You depart- your memory lingers through the day. You return- your presence fills the memory." She said softly. 

He frowned. "What?" 

"Deals are made to be broken." She said, and then nothing more. 

****

Buffy opened her eyes blearily when Willow shook her awake. As soon as she took in her surroundings, her heart sank, and she gazed at Willow with round, sad eyes. 

"Another one???" Willow asked incredulously. 

"Two since this afternoon." Buffy replied, rising from the bed slowly. She looked in the mirror for a long moment. "I'm never sleeping again." 

Even as she spoke the words, she knew they were a lie. 

She'd be back in bed the first chance she got. 

**** 

Angel blinked wearily, crossing to his fridge and pulling out a bottle of blood. He lifted it to his lips, taking a swig before sensing a presence behind him. 

He lowered the bottle, placing it on the refrigerator shelf before slowly turning to face the intruder. 

The female Oracle smiled. 

"Hello, Warrior." 

****

Part 5 

Buffy strode through the darkness, tapping her stake against her side impatiently. 

There was nothing, nobody, around, yet somehow the air was...electric. Something, somewhere, was happening, and she felt she was needed. 

Instead, she was playing tour guide to Riley and Walsh. 

"It's normally busier than this." She explained, glancing at them, then back to the darkness that surrounded them. "There's normally more...more." 

"And this...less...makes you nervous?" Walsh asked, cocking her head to the side inquisitively. 

Buffy frowned. "The Big Bad likes to lie low before the all out killerpalooza." She said. "The calm before the storm, that kinda deal, and...." She trailed off. 

"What?" Riley asked, stepping towards her in concern. 

"I can feel something in the air." 

"Something?" Professor Walsh asked quizzically. 

"Majick." 

Buffy didn't mention it, but she was wondering if the strangeness in the air had anything to do with her dreams. Whether whatever was giving her the creeps was responsible for them. 

She shivered. "It feels...it feels like every bone in my body is vibrating. Like my nerve endings are buzzing." She paused. "Someone is playing with the balance of the hellmouth." 

She turned around again. 

There was something else, though. A shiver of anticipation that tingled through her lips and fingers. 

"Angel." She whispered, and sure enough he stepped into view, head down against the wind, hands shoved into the pockets of his duster. 

He looked up, and stopped still, just watching her for a moment. 

She was vaguely aware of Riley sidling up next to her, his taser poised. 

"It's a hostile. I've got your back." He whispered. 

Angel started walking again, a calm look blanketing his face. 

__

How can he be so calm? She wondered, repressing the urge to wrap her arms around his shoulders and place soft kisses all over his mouth.... 

She snapped back to reality, and opened her mouth to speak to Riley. She was surprised to find that her own voice was mild and even. 

"Not him. He's an ally." 

Riley looked at her as if she were insane. "Buffy, he's a demon!" 

"With a soul. He's a good guy." 

"But-" 

She held up a hand. "Just trust me on this one, Riley. He won't hurt us." 

"A demon with a soul???" Professor Walsh repeated, surprise evident on her face. "I've never heard of that before." 

"You wouldn't of." Buffy replied, not taking her eyes off Angel. "He's the only one." 

He came to a stop a few feet in front of her. "Hi." "Hi." She replied. "What's up?" 

He raised an eyebrow. " You really have to ask??" 

"The dreams. Right." 

He nodded. 

She glanced behind her at her companions, and then back at him. 

She opened her mouth to speak. 

And then the world exploded in a flash of colour. 

****

Part 6 

Buffy's eyes widened as a bolt of purple lightning slammed down a foot away from where they stood. The air, which had been windy, earlier, sped up and crackled with energy as wind whipped around them and water poured down. 

It was one of the hellmouth traits that Buffy hated the most. You couldn't stop it, couldn't fight it, you just had to get indoors and ride it out, however long that took. 

A magjick storm, caused by an upset in the mystical energies protecting the town. It happened three or four times a year, when inexperienced magjick users played with forces that were beyond their understanding. 

She heard Angel swear in Gaelic under his breath, then he looked at her and her companions, gesturing at the mansion. "C'mon!" He roared above the wind, sighing as Riley and Walsh didn't move. He grabbed Walsh's arm, pulling her in the right direction, knowing Buffy would do the same for Riley. 

They bolted toward the mansion, hurtling indoors just as a fireball came blazing towards them. They heard a slam as it hit the stone wall where they had been just moments before. 

Buffy caught her breath and turned to Angel. 

"So....Welcome back." 

****

They all sat awkwardly in the great hall, cups of hot tea in their hands. 

Buffy shifted uncomfortable in her seat, her wet clothes sticking to her skin. Her woolen jumper was starting to smell. 

Angel was gazing at her in concern. 

They hadn't discussed anything yet. 

Buffy still had to explain to Riley and Walsh about Angel, and still had to talk to Angel about their dreams. 

But she wanted to dry off first. She was cold, wet, and tense, and knew they'd be here all night and possibly all the next day. 

Magjick storms were like that. 

"Angel, can I borrow a towel?" She asked, though the words sounded foreign to her own ears. In previous history, she wouldn't have bothered asking, just trudged to his bathroom, used all his hot water, pulled on some of his clothes and curled up in front of the fire with him. 

But that was then. 

There was a big expanse of separation between them now. She felt uncomfortable just taking over like she used to. 

Angel sent her a sad smile, his thinking obviously running along the same path. "You know where it all is, Buffy. The shower may be a little dirty, but you're welcome to have one." 

When Angel had moved to LA, he'd taken only a duffel bag with him, leaving most of his less important possessions in Sunnydale. He'd replaced them when he found the new apartment. 

Buffy smiled gratefully. "Thanks Angel..." She said, walking off in the direction of the bathroom. 

Angel watched her go, and then turned to the other occupants of the room. "Ahhh...There's another bathroom down the hall, if you want to use it." He indicated down the passageway. "I'm going to call my assistant, but please, make yourself at home." 

Angel moved into his bedroom, all too aware of Buffy showering in the ensuite. He tore his eyes away from the closed door, trying to focus on the pattern of his jaquard bed linen. 

He pulled his mobile out of his pocket, dialling his office. 

After a few rings, Cordelia picked up. breathless. "Angel Investigations, We help the hopeless....only, I hope it's not an emergency cos my boss is out of town, and-" 

"Cordelia." Angel cut her off. "It's me." 

"Angel!" Cordelia cried happily. "How's it going?" 

"We're trapped in the mansion." Angel said flatly. "There's a magjick storm raging around us." 

"Ugh. I hate those things." Cordelia said, and he could picture her screwing up her nose. "Wait- You and Buffy trapped alone together in a mansion after you've shared all those steamy dreamies???? Why am I thinking that there will be some major smoochies happening?" 

Angel sighed. "There might be smoochies going on, Cor, but it won't be between Buffy and I. Her new boyfriend and his mentor are here." 

"Her new boyfriend?" There was a pause. "What's he like?" 

"GI Joe with a Pulse." Angel replied, rubbing his forehead. 

"Doesn't sound too interesting to me. Not compared to the pushing-300 year old vampire with a soul who's been everywhere and done everything. Not to mention that you are a complete hottie." 

Angel rolled his eyes, but Cordelia kept on talking. 

"I bet his pulse is his only redeeming feature. I bet he's repulsive." Cordelia paused. "Do you think he's evil?" 

"I don't think so. Haven't really spoken to him much, though." 

"Oh well. We can hope." Cordelia said happily. 

Angel chuckled, his eyes drifting towards the door as he heard the shower click off. 

"Listen, Cor, I have to go. I'll call again before I leave." 

"Ok. And Angel?" 

"Yeah??" 

"Good Luck." 

"Thanks.....Night Cor." He hung up slowly, staring at the phone for a moment. 

He heard Buffy enter the room, but he didn't turn around. "You left some clothes in the closet." He said softly. "And you're welcome to borrow anything of mine." 

"I know, Angel." She replied just as quietly. "Thanks." 

He turned slowly to look at her. 

She stood, leaning against the doorframe, her tiny body wrapped in a huge white towel, her hair piled on the top of her head. 

A drop of water fell to her neck, rolling down over her collar bone. 

Angel's first impulse was to lick it away. 

Instead, he turned and walked out the door. 

****

Part 7 

Buffy stared into Angel's broken, tarnished mirror, gazing at the reflection that was oh so familiar, yet somehow....not. 

Like she didn't know herself anymore. 

Which, she supposed, was partly true. 

She shifted slightly, and her reflection slid into a section of warped glass, giving her face an eery distortion in the dim light. She shivered and turned away from the mirror, crossing to Angel's closet. 

She pulled out a pair of baby blue trackpants, tugging them on slowly, then reached into the closet, feeling around for a shirt to wear. Her hand fell on one of Angel's silk shirts. 

She hesitated, them removed it from the closet, lifting it to her face, deeply inhaling the scent. Sighing happily, she pulled it over her body, buttoning it, relishing the feel of the cool silk against her clean skin. 

She ran a hand down her stomach, then turned and left the room. 

Angel leaned against one wall, and Riley and Walsh sat tensely on Angel's soft black couch. They all looked up as Buffy entered the room, and a fraction of the tension melted away. 

Buffy absorbed it immediately. 

She had to tell the entire damned story, now. 

And she was wearing Angel's shirt, a point which probably wouldn't go unnoticed. 

But for now, no-one spoke. 

She strode into the room, sinking into the leather recliner. 

It felt sorta strange, sitting in it without Angel. They'd made a perfect curling size indent in it together, and now it felt too big, as if she was drowning in it's emptiness. 

Sorta like her life these days. 

Angel had started the fire, and now the warmth on her face felt familiar and inviting. 

She closed her eyes, remembering the nights that now seemed so long ago, when she and Angel had sat together in front of the fire, not talking, not doing anything, just enjoying eachothers silent company. 

She knew, without a doubt, that she wouldn't be able to do that with Riley. Wouldn't be able to just sit with him and take comfort in his simple presence. 

It wasn't like that with him. 

"Well, Buffy." Professor Walsh's voice cut her from her reverie. "You've been holding out on us." 

She made it clear in her tone of voice that she was referring to Angel. 

Buffy glanced at him, not wanting to tell any more than he was comfortable with. 

He gave a small nod of consent, and walked over to the fire, sitting Indian style, his back to it. 

Buffy looked at her hands, which were entwined on her lap. She focused on the small scar on her thumb, the one that Faith had given her in one of their many brawls. 

It seemed that only the people she loved had te ability to mark her permanently. 

She shrugged and looked at Riley. 

"I told you I knew some interesting people." 

****

Part 8 

__

Buffy pushed the covers away, looking around Angel's bedroom. She pulled on a black towelling robe, aware of Angel's scent sliding over her skin, mixing with her perfume to create a smell that was uniquely *them*. 

She ambled down the hall, tightening the belt of the robe, calling Angel's name. 

She found him standing alone in the great hall before the fire, his silk shirt hanging open, his pants slung low on his hips, a look of intense concentration gracing his dark features. 

She slid her hands over his shoulders. "Whatcha doing, honey????" She asked, standing on her tiptoes to speak into his ear. He leaned into her touch, welcoming the feel of her breath warm against his neck. 

"I don't remember." He replied after a moment. "But it was probably something to do with you." 

Buffy laughed. "Probably." She slipped her hands around his waist, pulling him backwards towards the couch. She circled so that she stood in front of him, pushing on his shoulder gently to make him sit on the sofa. Grinning, she crawled onto his lap, one knee on either side of his hips. She lowered her mouth to his neck, nibbling the flesh beneath his ear, kneading the muscles of his back with her slender fingers. 

Slowly, her lips made their way from his ear to his cheek to his eyelids to his lips, where she sucked and nibbled hungrily, desperate for the taste of him, the feel of those silky, firm lips pressed against her own. 

She heard him growl, and it came out as more of a purr, rumbling against her lips and sending vibrations through her entire body. 

She pulled away for a moment, tracing the ridges that had appeared on his face. He refused to meet her eyes, ashamed, as he had always been, of the demon that lived within. She grasped his cheeks firmly, forcing him to look at her, keeping eye contact as she kissed him with the same passion as she always had. His golden eyes fixed on hers as she moved her hands and lips over his face and body, tracing patterns, his cold flesh warming under her touch. 

She pushed at the silk shirt, sliding it off his shoulders even as he loosened her robe, his hands sliding inside and roaming over her back and stomach, his fingers dancing over her breasts and shoulders. 

She pulled away, breathless, leaning her forehead against his, whispering her love for him as she gazed into his eyes, the familiar glowing amber orbs. She lifted her hand, resting it on the back of his neck, playing with the wisps of short, spiky hair that grew there. And then she kissed him again, surrendering to the desire that had swelled up around them, thickening the air, settling over them and seeping into their skin. 

Later, they lay before the fire, a burgundy comforter settled around them. They lay skin to skin, stomach to stomach, a tangle of arms and legs. Angel nuzzled his nose into her cheek, mumbling to her, the sound muffled by her flesh, but she knew what he was saying, what he was feeling. They were connected, body to body, mind to mind, soul to soul. 

And they needed one another to survive. 

****

Riley rose from the hazy state of sleep slowly, looking around him, taking a moment to remember exactly where he was. When he did, he relaxed a little. A mansion, with Buffy and her mysterious vampire friend, hiding out from the magjick storm. 

He frowned. 

So where were they??? 

He cocked his head to the side, hearing people moving around in another room. He stood and padded quietly to the door, being careful not to wake Proffesor Walsh, who dozed on the couch near where he had slept. It wasn't like her, though, to fall asleep around strangers. Come to think of it, it wasn't like *him* to fall asleep in front of strangers. He thought back to the detailed explanation of majick storms Buffy had given him after she'd explained Angel's position. What was it she'd said about it draining your energy??? Was the majick storm responsible for their unscheduled nap?? He dismissed the question. It wasn't important anyway. 

He stood in the doorway, surprised to see Buffy and Angel sparring. He felt his mouth drop open as he watched them exchange blows. He'd *never* seen anyone move that fast. Nor had he seen anyone move in such perfect synchronicity. He'd never even known Buffy had the potential to move like that. She certainly hadn't displayed it in *their* training sessions, even though she had well and truly kicked his butt. And she'd been only fighing half-heartedly. It was a little frightening. And it made him feel a little uncomfortable about himself, and his ability. But most of all, he was highly impressed, almost in awe of the pair. They'd be a fearsome duo in combat. 

He felt Walsh move up beside him, and when he looked at her, he knew she was impressed, too. 

"Wow, huh??" He said softly, not wanting to distract them. 

"Indeed." Professor Walsh agreed. 

Angel blocked one of Buffy's punches, frowning at her. "Quit holding back." 

"I'm not!" She objected. 

"I've trained with you hundreds of times. I think I know by now." 

She sighed. "Yeah, okay. Hi Guys." 

They began to move even faster, punching and blocking, spinning and kicking, and Riley wondered what it would be like to be that hyper aware that they could be completely involved in their fight but still know what was going on around them. 

"How was your birthday???" Angel asked as they moved, and Riley detected a hint of caution in his voice. 

"Giles turned into a demon." Buffy said casually, sweeping her legs around, trying to trip him, but he jumped at the perfect moment. 

"Why am I not surprised?" Angel sighed, then smiled wryly. "Maybe you should just stay nineteen forever." 

"No way! Gut wrenching birthday angst is the only tradition I have!" Buffy declared. "Besides, every year it gets a little better. Last year I couldn't pummel things for a while, this year Giles was a bit slimy for a while.No big." 

"And what about the year before???"? Professor Walsh cut in, suddenly curious. Both Angel and Buffy stopped abruptly, slowly looking up at her. 

Riley noticed both people tense and straighten, their shoulders square. They stood uncomfortably in almost the exact same position, and suddenly Riley felt uneasy. They looked at each other, their gazes holding an extreme sadness that Riley coudn't comprehend. When Buffy looked back at Riley, her face was a mask. 

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Bu-" 

"I *don't* want to talk about it." She repeated, turning back to Angel, indicating that they should continue sparring. The pace quickly reverted to it's previous fastness, but their was more....frustration...in it now. Their blows were angrier, though not, it seemed, with each other. The fight had changed, now; It was no longer a simple training session, but a battle against some invisible foe. They were fighting for something, but Riley was at a loss to explain how he knew this. It was just...a vibe. 

Buffy was wailing on the inside. Their conversation had reminded her of their dreams, and how contented she had been in them. It was a contentment that would never come to pass. She would never lay in Angel's arms again. She would never feel that whole. BUt there was nothing else she could do, so she fought. She fought with all her strength, no longer seeing Angel anymore, but seeing everything that was holding them apart. She smashed her hand into his face, seeing a smug gypsy. She punched his stomach, seeing Angelus' cruel smile. She backhanded him against the cheek, remembering the mayor's patronizing words. She was awash in a sea of unhappiness, and she didn't surface until Angel swept her feet out from under her, sending them both tumbling to the floor. 

Somewhere, during the fight, Angel had morphed, and she froze as he lay atop her, remembering the most recent of their dreams, remembering how tenderly she had carresed that face. She remembered trailing her lips over those ridges, swirling her tongue around his fangs. 

She closed her eyes, her tears burning the backs of her eyelids, but she refused to cry. Slowly, Angel stood, turning away from her. She pulled herself up into a sitting position, glancing around the room. 

Riley was staring at her questioningly, and she smiled at him weakly. "Are you okay, Buffy?" He asked. 

"Just got a little caught up in the sparring. Just need a minute to come back to earth." 

Angel turned around his face human and smooth again, and she blinked, knowing he was feeling the exact same thing as her. It wasn't the sparring she was coming down from; It was the anger. The fury that had built up in her when she remembered all that had been done to them. 

Being kept apart from him hurt more than any torture that had been inflicted upon her. 

And there was nothing she could do to save herself, or Angel. 

It was just the way it was. 

Destiny, even if it was sucky. 

And boy, was it sucky. 

****

Part 9 

Buffy winced as a bolt of magenta lightning flashed past the window. 

"It's not letting up." She murmured to Angel, who stood next to her, peering out into the darkness which, by now, should have turned to day. 

"So I noticed." He sighed, flickering his gaze to where Riley and Walsh sat in the next room, Riley's head jsut visible htrough the door. 

Buffy followed his gaze. "Well, this is in no way weird." She grumbled. 

He turned to look at her, smiling wryly. "So I noticed." 

"So, you said you were here about the dreams. Does that mean you have some idea how to stop them?" She asked, part of her hoping that there was no way to stop them. It was all they had, these days. 

But still. She knew that if they didn't stop she'd been driven insane with desire. Already, thoughts of him were consuming her, tantalizing in their vividness, but still not real enough. 

"The Oracle came to me, and said..." He seemed to be having difficulty in getting the words out. 

:"What? What did the Oreo say?" 

"Oracle." Angel corrected. 

Buffy shrugged. "I don't care. I don't even know what it is." 

"It's a spokesperson for the Powers that Be..." At the roll of her eyes, he went back to the subject at hand. "She said that we're doing it. They have no hand in this." 

"We're doing it?" Buffy repeated. "*We're* causing this?" 

"They can't stop us." Angel said. "We keep breaking all of their rules." 

"So we're linking up our own dreams." Buffy said, sinking down into a sitting position. "And there's nothing they can do about it?" 

"Well, they've taken some precautions..." Angel murmured. 

"Angel, this will drive us insane. It's bad enough having my normal dreams about you. But when I know you're actually there, and that you want me too, it's just..." 

"Unbearable." He finished for her. "I know." 

"I just worry about my willpower." She whispered. "With you here...." 

"That's what I'm trying to tell you." Angel told her. "Precautions." 

"What?" Buffy asked. 

"They can't afford to lose us right now. So they made a little deal with me." Angel told her, covering her hand with his own. 

"What kind of deal?" Buffy tried not to think about all the other places his hand could be at that moment. 

"My Soul-" Angel cut off when Riley's voice startled them from the doorway. 

"Buffy!" Riley exclaimed. "There you are. Whatcha doing?" He walked fully into the room, plonking himself down next to her. 

"Angel and I were just catching up. Cos we're friends. And that's what friends do." Buffy said, too quickly. 

Angel removed his hand from Buffy's slowly. "Right. Friends." He murmured. "I'm gonna go add another log to the fire." Abruptly he stood, striding into the Great Hall where Professor Walsh still sat. 

Buffy closed her eyes, willing back the tears that had threatened to flood as he walked away. 

One Question remained: What had he been about to tell her?? 

****

Angel picked up a log from the stack next to the mantle, gently placing it on the fire. He stood, watching the flames mingle and meld, flicker and dance, gently illuminating the darkened room. 

He was transfixed by the flames, but not because of their beauty. It was the memory of making dream-love with Buffy in front of that fire. He remembered the light from the flames dancing over her golden skin, twinkling off her emerald eyes. He remembered how warm she was, bundled against his chest. He remembered her lips pressed against his neck. 

He groaned softly. He was driving himself insane, and he knew it. 

But all he could think about was her silky skin pressed against his, her small, powerful frame wrapped around his. 

"You're close, aren't you?" A voice shocked him out of his reverie. 

Startled, he turned. He'd forgotten that Professor Walsh was in the room with him. "Excuse Me?" 

"You and Buffy. You two are close." She repeated. 

"Oh." Angel said. "You could say that." 

"A Vampire and a Slayer. Friends. It's just...unexpected." 

"Yeah. Friends. Imagine that." He said softly. 

"So, how exactly did you two become allies?"Professor Walsh asked, obviously desperate to keep up a conversation. 

Angel looked up. "Uh, a messenger demon came to me. Told me about her. Apparently it's my destiny to help her." He looked away. "To protect her." He shrugged. 

"He does a pretty good job of it, too." Buffy said from the doorway. 

Angel lookd at her for a moment. "I do my best." He murmured. 

Buffy and Riley walked into the room and sat down. 

"So how long do you think this storm will last?" Riley asked. 

Angel leaned against the wall near the fire, enjoying the warm feeling of the stone, heated by the fire. "It depends. Could be anywhere from another hour to a couple of days." 

"A couple of days...do you have any food here?" 

"If you guys get desperate, I could probably take the sewers into town....it's a last resort, though, because it can be pretty dangerous." 

"And how about you?" Professor Walsh. "Will you be okay without blood?" 

"I have blood." Angel assured her. "You guys have nothing to worry about." 

Walsh nodded slightly, and didn't seem to care that she'd embarrased him. Buffy was glaring daggers at her, though. "God, don't they teach you manners in med school?" Buffy cried. 

"Buffy." Angel said softly. "It's ok." 

Buffy sighed. "I know, I'm just...edgy." 

Angel went to put a hand on her shoulder. "I know." 

As he touched her, a bright white light ripped through the room. 

And brought with it their memories. 

****

Part 10 

The memories ripped through the room, burning into the minds off all the occupants of the large, cold mansion. 

The moments came hard and fast, and Buffy gave a tiny whimper, trying to detach herself from Angel, but to no avail. 

And as long as they were touching, the memories would assault them. 

Whispered words, passionate touches. Everything they felt. Everything they saw. 

__

"I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite."...."Do you know what it's like t have a friend???"...."No, I mean you look cold."...."Keep it. It looks better on you, anyway."...."When he's around, it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?"...."Because when I am, all I can think about is how badly I wanna kiss you..."..."And I did it with a song in my heart."...."One of us is gonna have to walk away, here..."...."Do you think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think that I could stand it?"...."What, vampires don't get jealous??"..."I always wished I could meet someone exciting...interesting..."...."You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that makes sense to me.".... "You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this."...."Oh...I didn't even notice...." 

The whole room started shaking as the images swirled through their systems, and Buffy heard Riley suck in a breath. 

She saw her and Angel dancing across her eyelids, saw him fighting with Kendra. She saw herself getting nice and pissed about Spike kidnapping him. Saw herself save him, watched as she tended to his wounds. She witnessed them making out in the cemetery...through her bedroom window...in her bedroom...the library...his apartment.... 

She shivered as she watched the memories...it was like she was watching a movie of her life, and suddenly, she wished she was seeing things from Angel's perspective instead. She'd always wondered what he saw when he looked at her with that mix of wonder, lust and love in his eyes. 

She wished she saw what he saw. 

**** 

Riley sucked in a breath as he watched the life of his girlfriend play before his eyes. 

He was awash in jealousy as he watched her kissing that...that vampire. He'd never known that she could look so aroused. So....fiery. She kissed Angel with passion he'd never seen displayed before. 

It hurt him, deeply. 

__

"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."...."When I look into the future, all I see is you....All I want is you."....."...I like seeing you. And at the part of the night where we say goodbye, it's getting harder.".... 

He watched as they walked along the docks together, a box containing the Judge's arm on Angel's shoulder. He listened as they whispered to each other. 

__

Angel pulled a velvet box from his pocket, opening it. Light glinted off the shining silver. 

"I have something for you. For your birthday. I was going to give it to you earlier, but..." He trailed off. 

"It's beautiful." Buffy told him sincerely, looking down at the beautifully crafted ring, studying the two hands holding the crowned heart. 

He continued in a low, throaty whisper. "My people...before I was changed, they exchanged it as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty. And the heart, well, you know..." He smiled softly. "Wear it with the heart pointing towards you, it means you belong to someone. Like this." He held up his own hand, which displayed the same ring, heart pointing towards him. 

He belonged to her. 

Riley winced as Buffy leaned down and kissed the ring tenderly. 

__

"Put it on." Angel urged. 

Buffy did so, looking at the ring for several moments before looking back at him. 

"I don't want to do this." She whispered. 

"Me, either." 

"So....don't go." Buffy pleaded, although she knew that he had to. 

He kissed her, then. Their lips met in a long, sad, sweet kiss, and Riley bit his lip. Just a few more seconds, and the torrent of memories would stop. Angel would leave, and Riley would be able to escape the pain of watching his girlfriend so tenderly kiss a demon. 

He was relieved when Angel pulled away. 

__

"Buffy, I..." Angel never finished as a pair of vampires jumped them. 

Riley nearly howled in pain as the couple fought the vampires, and walked away from the docks. 

**** 

Buffy was shaking. She knew exactly what was coming, now. 

The memories flashed through the research party at the library, through the fight with Spike, through their mad dash through the sewers, and settled on the interior of Angel's apartment. 

She could feel Angel's hand tense on her shoulder, but he seemed to know that it was futile to try and pull away. 

In the memory, Buffy was trembling as hard as she was now. She bit her lip as she watched herself walk over to Angel's neatly made bed and sit down. 

She still remembered how soft that bed was. How nice the sheets felt against your skin. 

She watched Angel turn away from her, saw herself wince as the fabric of her wet cardigan brushed across a cut. She smiled as Angel demanded to see it, remembering the way he used to care for her, worrying over every tiny bruise. 

Her shaking increased as Angel sat behind her on the bed, his fingers brushing over her shoulder, dislodging the straps. 

She closed her eyes as he said the words; _"I love you....I try not to, but I can't stop." _

Her gut twisted as she kissed him, and she wished she could cry out, warn them about what they were about to do. 

But then, she wasn't sure she would have the strength, even if she were able. 

She swallowed as they sank down into the mattress. 

**** 

Angel felt like he was being torn into tiny shreds. No matter how much he cherished this memory, what was to come filled him with dread. 

He watched Buffy and himself move together on the bed, a tangle of bare arms and legs. He saw her hands brushing over his tattoo, heard their murmured confessions of love. He closed his eyes as they cried out together, tears brimming in his eyes. 

On top of his recent dreams, this was almost unbearable. 

He bit his lip as Buffy fell asleep in his arms, as he dropped a kiss on the crown of her head. As he closed his eyes....and them snapped them open again. 

He heard Riley whisper "What's going on?" as they watched him slip out of the bed, dressing quickly and exiting the apartment. 

__

He cried out her name as he ran into the wet night, stumbling through the alley before collapsing. 

"Buffy," He whispered. "Oh, no." 

Angel squeezed his eyes shut as he saw the woman approach him from behind. As he leaped up, spinning around, sinking his teeth into her neck. Blowing the smoke into the air. 

__

"I feel just fine." Angelus said, grinning. 

**** 

"This one cannot be burned. He is clean."..."There is no humanity in him."...."Yeah, baby, I'm back."...."No more of this 'I've got a soul' crap?"..."What can I say? I was going through a phase."...."Yeah. Destroying the world. Great....I'm really more interested in the Slayer."..."Let me work on her. I guarantee by the time you go public, she won't be anything resembling a threat."...."She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive." 

Buffy closed her eyes and covered her ears as his words vibrated through the room, but her precautions gave her no sanctuary from the assault. 

She shook her head, trying to deny what was coming. 

She let out a cry as Angel's apartment appeared, as she let herself in quietly. As she stared at the bed for several moments before he walked out of the bathroom in his leather pants, putting on his chain. 

She felt fresh tears run down her face as the 17 year old Buffy ran to him, hugging him tightly. As he spoke to her, maintaining the illusion that he was still her Angel. 

As he started to play with her. _"You've got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although, I guess you proved that last night." _

"What are you saying?" She asked, broken hearted. 

"Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all." He said, shrugging. "Hey, it happened." 

"I don't understand." She whispered. "Was it me? Was I...no good?" 

He laughed. The bastard laughed. "You were great. Really." He leered. "I thought you were a pro." 

She was about to burst into tears. "How can you say these things to me?" 

"Lighten up. It was a good time. Doesn't mean we have to make a big deal." 

"It *is* a big deal! It's ---it's---" 

"It's what?" He asked. "Bell's ringing? Fireworks?" He mocked. "A dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?" He snickered. "Come on, Buffy." He gave a light swat on the chin. "It's not like I've never been there before." 

She stepped away from him. "Don't touch me." 

He rolled his eyes. "I should have known you wouldn't be able to handle it." 

"Angel!" She cried, reaching out to him once more. "I love you." 

He smile was full of cruelty. "Love ya too. " He said, swaggering to the door, opening it. "I'll call you." He didn't even look back as he left, leaving her shaking and sobbing alone. 

Buffy opened her eyes, knowing that she was about to relive the worst year of her life. 

She felt Angel's other hand reach up and wipe away her tears, whispering to her. "It wasn't true. For him, or for me." He told her. She tried to be strong, but her tears just kept falling as the show went on. 

__

"He's not Angel anymore. Are you?"..."Well, it's not really the sort of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends."..."Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who you are."..."Dream on, Schoolgirl. Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him."..."Some event must have triggered his transformation. If anyone would know, Buffy, it should be you."..."Spike, my boy. You really don't get it, do you?... To kill this girl...You gotta love her.""The curse...If Angel achieved true happiness, even just a moment of it,...he would lost his soul."...." That doesn't work anymore. You're not Angel."..."You made me the man that I am today."..."You can't do it. You can't kill me."..."Give me time." 

**** 

Professor Walsh sucked in a breath as she watched the events unfolding. That Buffy was still sane at all was a miracle.... 

She watched Angel watching her. He climbed through her window, stroking her face before pulling out his sketch pad. 

__

Every night, Buffy cried herself to sleep. Every night, Angelus watched the object of his fascination for hours on end. 

Willow and Buffy sat in the Slayer's room, huddled side by side on her bed. "For the first time, I'm glad my parents didn't let me have a puppy." Willow said, wrinkling up her face. 

Buffy looked at her lap. "It's so weird. Everytime that something like this happens, my first instinct is to run to Angel. I can't believe it's the same person. He's completely different from the guy that I knew." 

"Well, sort of, except...." Willow trailed off, sighing. 

"Except what?" Buffy asked, looking at her. 

"You're still the only thing he thinks about." Willow said hesitantly. 

The two girls sat in silence for a long time. 

Maggie could only imagine what it was like to be obsessed over like that. Especially by a sadistic vampire who wore the face of you only love. 

This was the only thing that she'd ever learned about a vampire that she really didn't want to know. 

**** 

The moments kept on coming, and Angel could hear Buffy making small whimpering sounds as they sat through each and every memory Angelus inflicted upon her. He wished he could stop it all for her, go back and take it all away. 

But he, perhaps more than anyone, knew that there was never going back. 

Ever. 

**** 

Buffy felt the dread burning in her stomach as it approached. The moment she'd relived over and over in her dreams both waking and sleeping. 

For months, all she'd seen was this. 

And now she'd see it again. 

She cried out loud as she walked towards the mansion, sword in hand. "No!" She said, struggling to pull away from Angel, trying to break the contact that had them all in this trance. 

They were stuck fast. 

"No! No! No, I can't!" She yelled. "Please, make it stop!" She called to no-one in particular. 

And no-one in particular didn't seem to hear her. 

**** 

__

"So that's it. No weapons...no friends...no hope. What's left?"...."Me."..... 

Walsh's professional mind noted the nimble movements of the pair as they clashed swords, but the more human part of her, the one that she'd buried so far inside herself, that she'd pushed away with analytical calculation, grimaced at the sight. 

__

Buffy's sword was poised, ready, and Angel gasped, his eyes flashing. 

Buffy kept her sword raised as Angel glanced around in confusion. 

He reached out to touch her arm, and she flinched slightly. "You're hurt." 

"Oh...It's okay." Buffy replied. 

He pulled her to him, hugging her. "Ah, Buffy. I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled...." He said. 

Buffy remained still for a moment before hugging g him back, joy and relief trembling through her veins. 

And then she saw it, over his shoulder. A swirling, growing vortex. 

She held her heart in her eyes. 

Walsh winced as Buffy visibly shattered. 

Still, she reminded herself that Angel was still there, so there was no way Buffy could've killed him. 

__

"What's happening, Buffy?" Angel whispered. 

"Sh....It doesn't matter." She replied, tears beginning to form. She pulled away to look at him, closing her eyes painfully. 

She kissed him, pouring all her passion for him into it. "I love you." She murmured against his face. 

"I love you..." Angel told her, his confusion overwhelming him. 

"Close your eyes." She pleaded, and he did so without a moments thought. 

Pulling the sword back, Buffy slid it into his stomach, pinning him to the demon. 

Angel's eyes opened and went wide as the gleaming silver penetrated his stomach, and he desperately tried to understand why she had done this to him. 

His lips parted slightly as he felt himself being sucked backwards, away.... 

Away from her. 

He reached out to her, images flickering into his mind. Images he could make no sense of, but knew he should understand.... 

Buffy took a step back as he was sucked fully into hell, covering her mouth with her hands, shocked grief filling her. 

Part of her went with him. 

But there was no other way... 

Walsh couldn't move. It was one thing to listen to someone's problems, to make impartial, rational observations about them. 

It was another thing completely to watch it and remain emotionless. 

She felt years of training drain away from her, and felt like bursting into hysterical laughter. A faraway, dim voice noted that this was a sign of shock, but pushed it away because she couldn't make a sound anyway. 

She was completely frozen with sympathy for a people she barely knew. 

**** 

Buffy collapsed against Angel, her tears soaking into his shirt. She felt one of his hands tangle in her hair, heard him whisper to her, but she could take no comfort from them. He shouldn't be worrying about her, after she'd done *that* to him. She should be begging for forgiveness, rather than being cradled and caressed so tenderly. 

"You had to." Angel whispered. "Remember that. You had to." 

"There must've been another way." 

"No. Only that way." He replied. 

Around them, in them, upon them, the memories continued. 

**** 

__

"You don't know! You don't know what happened to me, or what I've been through..."...."Only what your friends tell me. That you oughta deal and move on, but you don't."..."And I kissed him..told him I loved him....and I killed him."...."Goodbye."...."Angel....Do you understand me?"...."Buffy....Oh, God, Buffy."...."I haven't told them that you're back. And I'm not going to. They wouldn't understand that your better..."...."I mean, I've had my share of losers, B, but you....you boinked the undead."...."You must have known it was wrong seeing Angel, Buffy, or you wouldn't have hidden it from us."...."Love isn't brains, children, it's blood."..."You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love until it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other to bits, but you'll never be friends."..."What I want from you, I can never have."...."Tell me that you don't love me."...."Because I wanted to! I want you so badly, I wanna take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul and a part of me doesn't care!"...."Strong is fighting. It's hard, and it's everyday..."...."You held your heart out for all to see, and I worried that it would be bruised, or crushed, and I wanted to keep it safe, and warm it with my own."...."I love you...Nothing can change that, not even death."...."Bet part of you even dug him when he went psycho."..."I don' t need to see movies to get worked up, Buffy. Just being around you does that fine. But that doesn't mean I'm going to lose control, or that I'm going to be frustrated around you. It feels nice, just the feel."...."Faith, I can be there for you, but not like that. I'm with Buffy."....."Feels so good to have the taste of a slayer back in my mouth."...."Y'know, what I can't believe is, all our time together and we never tried chains."...."Think about *that* while your boyfriends cuttin' into ya." 

Drained, Buffy could do no more than passively lean against Angel's broad chest and give into the memories. There was nothing else they could do. 

So much of their lives were like that...swept up in a current, unable to control the paths that they took. She remembered what Parker had told her about choices, and knew why she'd been so eager to believe it. 

It was because their were so few choices left for her. She could either take things easily, go along for the ride, or she could fight. That was it. The outcome would always be the same. 

And right now she felt like going with the flow. 

She was tired. 

**** 

__

"You still my girl?"...."Always."...."To the naked eye, it looked like fun."...."Hey. I'll love you, even if you are covered in slime."...."In two hundred and forty years, I've loved exactly one person."...."Oh. It is me, right?"...."We talked, he fed me the heart of a demon, we talked some more...".....""Big stupid evil guy."...."This place isn't really girl friendly. "...."It'd be nice to just come back here after prom..."..."Angel's gonna lose it. But not lose his soul...He's gonna lose his bit."...."There's going to be some hard choices ahead, and if she doesn't make them, then you're gonna have to."..,, 

"You've gotta be kidding me..." Buffy whispered as she saw her mother speaking with Angel, appealing to his sense of nobility. Guilt tripping him. 

"I can't believe her!" She exclaimed. "I can't believe you listened to her!" 

She glared at Angel as best she could before focusing back on the memories. 

__

"You deserve something outside of demon's and darkness...."...."I love you. I won't change. I *can't* change!"...."Have you? Rationally?"..."Of course not. I'm just some giddy schoolgirl, right?"...."You could have a normal relationship...instead of this...this freakshow..."..."This doesn't mean I don't love you."...."Is this really happening?" 

Riley felt awful for it, but he nearly cried out in joy as the pair exchanged words in the sewer. 

He'd only been dating Buffy for a few weeks, but already she took up so many of his thoughts....he spent a good percentage of his day trying to determine her thoughts, and now that he had a further insight into them.... 

He wished he was still wondering. 

Things would never be the same between them again, he knew. He'd always be wondering if he was measuring up to her ex lover, always competing with him for her heart. 

No matter what Buffy would say, he'd never really trust her or their relationship again. 

__

"I can't breathe. I feel like I can't breathe."...."Angel's not taking you, is he?"...."Angel's leaving me."...."I can lie to you now. We're ex, remember?"...."Sometimes people surprise you."...."This is just tonight. It doesn't mean..."..."I know. I mean, I understand."...."Isn't this even the littlest bit hard for you?"..."How can you ask me that? Just because I'm not acting like a brat.."...."Well it's nice to know what you think of me!"...."What do expect me to say when you just attack?"...."I can't do this anymore! I can't have you around when I'm trying to move on! I just want this to be over."...."Sorry. I'll get out of your face."...."I'm talking about watching my lover die. I don't have a clue what you're talking about, and I don't care."...."Is he dead yet?"..."He's not going to die. Nice try, though. Your plan?"...."There's a cure."...."What is it?"..."Your blood."...."You did it, B. You killed me. It's not going to help your boy, though." 

Walsh felt shock stirring within her as she watched Buffy approach Angel in his bed, as his eyes fluttered open. 

__

"Buffy?" 

"It's me." 

"I didn't want to go without saying goodbye." 

"Angel, listen to me. Sit up." She helped him ease himself up on the bed. "You're not gonna die." 

"But...How." 

"Drink." She said, gathering her hair and pulling it away from her neck. "Drink from me." 

"No. I won't." He said shakily, struggling out of the bed, fleeing away from her. In the great hall, he steadied himself against the coffee table. 

"It's the only way!" 

"Faith..." 

"I tried...she got away." 

"Then it's over." 

"It's never over!" Buffy said. 

"It has to be." 

"I'm not going to let you die." Buffy said, stepping up to him. 

Angel just shook his head. Steeling herself, she punched him, mentally apologizing even as she swung. 

His head snapped up, but his demon was still under control. 

She punched him again. And Again. 

Finally, his vampiric visage emerged, and she gave a small nod of satisfaction. She pulled her collar aside, reaching out, yanking his head to her neck. She could feel him resisting against natural instinct, and held him closer, tighter. 

Finally, she felt his tongue dart out, tasting her flesh. He licked her pulse quickly, and Buffy closed her eyes. Her lips parted as she felt his fangs penetrate her skin. She felt her blood flowing into his mouth, and his mouth sucking at her neck brought her a strange sort of pleasure. 

They tumbled to the floor together, Buffy pinned effectively below Angel, tension building in her body. She reached out, grabbing a tin kettle. It crushed underneath her fingers. 

Her eyes snapped open, and she arched against him. Explosions erupted throughout her veins, and her leg kicked out, shattering his coffee table. 

The room was swirling, but par of her felt no desire to pull away. She just wanted to stay there, her body tingling underneath his touch. Instead, she drifted away into unconsciousness. 

**** 

Walsh was stunned. Sweet, wholesome, good little Buffy Summers, aroused to the point of ecstasy by a vampire's erotic kiss. 

She'd never have picked it. Well, she'd never have picked that she was the Slayer , either, so Buffy was just all around surprising. 

She felt closer to this doomed couple than she felt to her own family. They'd awakened a passion in her that she'd thought long dead, and she wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. 

Passion left you open for let down. 

Which was why, almost her entire life, she'd chosen to remain indifferent. 

But a tear rolled down her cheek as Angel took one look, and then turned and walked away. 

*** 

Angel breathed in a shocked gasp as he realized what was about to happen. 

Buffy stood before him in their office, and he knew from the slightly bewildered but completely apologetic look on his face which version of the day this was. 

His breathing quickened, and he renewed his struggle to pull himself away from Buffy, in a blind panic. 

"No! You vicious, sick bastards, let us go!" He roared, tugging at his hand for all he was worth. 

Buffy's eyes widened, and she looked at him. "Angel? What are you doing? What's wrong?" 

And then the new memories hit her. 

****

Part 11 

Buffy's eyes filled with tears as the memories overloaded her senses. 

__

"I feel weird..."...."Let's just rewind Buffy's little outburst, shall we??..."No. You're right. It is weird. When we're apart...it's easier. It hurts, but....Now you're here, and all I have to do is reach out and touch you....It's more than weird. It's unbearable."...."But we have to bear, right? No other choice."...."If we let something happen here...we'll want more."...."I'm alive."...."Chocolate...I love chocolate....But not, as it turns out, yoghurt."..."Don't tell Buffy yet...not til I know what it means.".... 

Buffy gasped as she saw Angel walking towards her in sunlight. As he pulled her into his arms, not saying a word, just kissing her with almost two years worth of pent up passion. 

She couldn't remember any of this...why couldn't she remember any of this?? 

Her lips parted as she watched herself and her soulamte kissing in sunlight....oh, how she wished she could properly remember that kiss from her own perspective...remember what it felt like to have his lips, his hands, warm against her, his heart beating against her chest. 

She'd kissed human guys before sure, but this was *Angel*. She'd dreamed of that moment for so many years. Every day, every night. Every time she closed her eyes she imagined herself kissing Angel, bathed in sunlight. 

__

"I'm sorry for kissing you back there..."..."You are? Because as kisses go I thought it was well above average."...."The kiss was amazing,"...."It's a good thing I didn't fantasize about you becoming human, oh, a thousand times, because this day would have been a real let down."...."So how does this work? You call me, I call you?"..."We keep in touch. Just not..."..."I get it."..."I'd better go."...."That's a good idea. Remove the temptation."..."So...I'll talk to you soon??" 

Riley absorbed the scene unfolding before him in complete and utter relief. Buffy was just going to walk away.... 

He didn't know if he could handle another session of watching her writhing and arching against Angel. 

He flinched slightly when Buffy covered Angel's hand with her own, but he wasn't too concerned. It was just their hands...perfectly innocent. 

His fear grew as the couple stared at their touching hands, and then up at each other. 

__

And then their lips fused, and Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck. Angel pressed her against the refriderator, which gave her leverage to jump up, her legs planted firmly around his waist. Angel walked a few steps, as if to carry her to the bedroom. He didn't get very far before need overtook him. He cleared the table with a sweep of his arm, lowering her down onto the surfeace, barely even hearing his plates shatter on the floor. 

Riley felt sick. His gut was clenched up in a boiling mass of anger and jealousy, and his skin was crawling, as if it were suddenly too tight. 

__

Buffy stripped Angel of his shirt, immediately plastering her mouth against his as soon as she'd completed her task. Her hands hungrily moved over his skin, her nails raking down his back, bringing him closer, pressing herself against him. 

Soon, they were fully undressed, tangling together, moving together, taking part in an act that for so long had been forbidden. Ecstacy flooded their bodies, overriding their senses. 

They didn't seem to even notice as the table gave way and they went crashing to the floor. 

"This isn't happening." Riley said to himself, seething, but also crushed to the point of depression. 

Buffy was blushing, bright red, but was also closing her eyes, trying to capture the feelings of perfect completion that her radiant smile showed in the memory. 

__

Angel collapsed against Buffy, twisting one of his hands into her hair. 

She kissed his shoulder softly, giving it a little nibble for good measure before looking into his eyes. 

"I love you." She said breathlessly. 

"I love you." He replied, pressing a soft kiss to her brow. 

"I don't even want to think about what I'm lying on." Buffy said as something sharp poked into her butt. 

Angel grinned, pulling her into his arms as he stood. He carried her over to his bed, dropping her into it, laughing. 

Buffy bounced against the mattress as she landed, a giggle escaping her lips. 

He sat down next to her on the bed, leaning in to kiss her. 

Simultaneously, their stomaches rumbled. Angel pulled his lips away from Buffy, leaning his forehead against hers as they laughed. 

"How bout some food?" Angel asked, taking note as she shivered. He grabbed a shirt that lay folded on the side table, handing it to her as he stood. "What do you want?" 

"Mmmm...apart from you?" She took his hand, biting it playfully. 

He grinned, swooping down and kissing her again before turning and heading off in the direction of his kitchen, which lay broken and crushed, like a warzone. 

"Hey, no fair!" She cried to his retreating back. 

"I'll only be a few seconds!" Angel assured her, running to the fridge. "You didn't tell me what you wanted!" 

"Well..." She started, sitting up and stretching. "Some chocolate would be nice..." 

**** 

Angel watched Buffy in worry. She was frozen, her lips parted, her eyes a faraway expression. 

He knew what she was thinking . She hated the fact that she could see everything that was happiening, but she couldn't really remember how it all had felt. How *she* had felt. 

He wished he could bring back the memories for her properly. Wished she'd never had to deal with them in the first place. 

"_And peanut butter....preferably crunchy!"...."Mmmm. I love food."..."Food is good."..."Well, I figured that if your vamp taste buds couldn't really savor it, then I'd only be hurting you." ...."y'know, I've had enough of this being mature thing. That time you just spent in the kitchen? That was enough time apart for me."..."Definitely."..."Well, mortal co-ordination leaves something to be desired."..."Wrong. It's perfect."..."I wanna stay awake so this day can keep on happening."..."Sleep. We'll make another one like it tomorrow.""Don't you wanna wake the girl?"..."Not for the world."..."Shhh. We're together. Everything is okay."... _

Buffy felt bolts of alarm rock through her when she saw Angel fighting the demon. She knew that he had to have lived, that he stood before her now, and she could feel concern rippling off him , but still, she reached out a hand to touch him, to reassure herself that he was there, that he was ok. Angel must have underfstood, because he covered her hand with his own, lifting it to his lips and kissing it softly, whispering into her skin. 

"I'm okay, love." He murmured. 

"Is it nearly over?" She asked him, desperation colouring her voice. "I can't take much more of this." 

"The worst is yet to come." He whispered, a tear forming in his eye. 

He was right. Buffy stood stock still as they discussed his reasons for asking to be turned back. As he told her that they only had another minute. When she found out that she would remember none of it. 

As they kissed, with such sadness and despair. As she threw her arms around his neck.

__

"I'll never forget, I'll never forget, I'll never forget." She spun around to look at the clock. "Oh God, it's not enough time!" She cried. "I'll never forget, I'll never forget, I'll never forget..." 

"So let's just stick to the plan. Given enough time, we should be able to-" 

"Forget." Angel finished. 

**** 

"No!" Buffy shouted. "No! It didn't!!! *I* Didn't!!!" 

"Buffy..." Angel whispered, pulling her to him. "You had no choice..." 

"I forgot. How could I forget..." She said, and Angel could feel the guilt in ehr posture. Using his fingers to tilt up her chin, he kissed her. Kissed her with all the love he had for her, opening up every inch of their connection. 

Around them, the air crackled and cleared, and silence fell upon the room for the first time in what seemed like hours. 

They didn't notice as they kept on kissing. 

****

Part 12 

Riley and Walsh stood on in shock as Buffy and Angel remained locked in a passionate embrace, seemingly devouring each other with their touch. 

Riley felt his heart shatter all over again, and he closed his eyes, but the images were burned into his mind, never to be chased away by denial or replacement. 

He opened his eyes again, putting on a blank face, bravely watching the girl he had grown to love reacquainting herself with her ex lover. With her husband. 

Finally, Buffy pulled away from Angel, breathing heavily. They shared a small, intimate smile, forgetting that they were not alone. 

Suddenly, Buffy's eyes widened as she realized htat they were no longer swamped by visions of their past. 

"What happened to the memories?" She whispered, looking around herself in a panic. 

"They stopped when you started kissing." Riley managed to choke out. 

An awkward, tense silence descended. 

"So you two are...were....lovers." Walsh stated. 

There was really no reason to reply, but Buffy did anyway. "Yeah." She said softly. She looked at Riley. "Riley, I'm sor-" 

"Don't." He said, swallowing. He looked Angel up and down. "Well, you told me you'd been in a doomed relationship." 

Buffy looked at the ground. "I didn't mean for this to happen..." 

"I know." He said quietly. "That doesn't make it hurt less." 

"I know." She sighed. "But...even without Angel, it never would have worked between you and I anyway." She said gently. "We live in different worlds. You may be a demon hunter, but...it's just a job." She blinked slowly. "This....Slaying...it's my life. It's who I am." 

"But your friends..." Riley said, desperately kindling a hope that if things were different, it could have worked between him and the blonde enchentress. "They weren't born for this, either." 

"Sometimes I wonder...." Angel said aloud without realizing it at first. When everyone turned to stare at him, he elaborated. "You have to admit, they are well suited for this. Willow and her brains, Xander's creativity, Cordelia's....well, I don't know the word, but she has a quality. The point is, you don't just assmble teams like that. They are assembled for you." 

"Fate." Buffy murmured. "Well, the rest of my life is up to destiny, why not my friends, too?" 

"Was there a point to telling me that?" Riley asked, his voice rising. "Telling me that I'm not some part of a greater plan?" 

"You aren't a part of *this* plan." A regal voice said. "But every person is part of a plan." 

They all turned to face the Oracle. 

"You...." Buffy whispered, recognizing the woman from Angel's memory. 

"Hello, Chosen One." She said calmly, then turned to Angel. "You are right, Warrior. You, your friends....I believe 'Scooby Gang' is the term?" 

The words sounded foreign and odd coming from this entity's lips, and laughter threatened to bubble up inside of Buffy. A ridiculous urge, but powerful all the same. She swallowed firmly, needing to hear the Oracles words. 

"You were all brought together for a reason. Together you are strong, powerful. You haved lived many lives together, but each life time...you've been drifting further and further apart." She said, cocking her head to the side, her fingertips touching as she prowled, studying Buffy and Angel together in the centre of the room. 

The room which suddenly seemed less solid, as if it no longer had it's feet firmly planted in reality. Buffy realized that Riley and Professor Walsh were no longer in their presence. 

"You, Warrior, and your lover, the Slayer, are the threads which hold your fabric together. Where each goes, certain souls will follow." The Oracle told them. "In this modern era, society has managed to split you apart, slicing away at your weaknesses until you no longer believed in yourselves and your love." 

"This void you have created between yourselves is allowing your followers to drift away. You must not allow this to happen." She said firmly. "Certain aspects of your lives have been holding you separate, mainly the fear of your dark side, yes?" 

Angel found his voice. "Yes." He said, his voice rasping slightly. 

"Then you shall no longer have to fear that." She decided. "Your souls have been rebelling against separation, and the Powers have given in to your pleas. They need their Warriors working as a unit." 

"His soul is permanent." Buffy said, begging for confirmation. 

"I promised him that I would try and help you. I told him to come here, to be with you until I could be sure of the Powers decision." She said. "They have made their choice, and it is so." 

"Continue your fight together, young ones. Mend the ties with your friends, and all shall be well." 

And then she was gone. 

****

Part 13 

With a jolt, Buffy and Angel were pulled back to their reality. Buffy steadied herself with a hand on Angel's shoulder, even as she subconsciously realized that they hadn't moved the entire time. 

"What just happened??" Riley asked, looking at Buffy, unable to keep the concern out of his voice. "You two...It was like you were in a trance." 

"Uh, We had an outer body experience of sorts." Buffy murmured. "Don't worry about it...Did we speak aloud???" Se wasn't sure she liked the idea that they had heard everything that had been discussed....she wasn't ure how Riley would react to the news that Angel's soul was permanent. Sorta like kicking him when he was down. 

Still, she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her lips when she thought the words 'soul' and 'permanent' in one sentence. The smile grew even wider when she thought of recreating some of those dreams... 

She groaned inwardly. _ When will this damn storm be over???? _

"No. Your lips were moving..." Walsh shrugged. "No sound came out. What happened to that woman?" 

"The Oracle does not walk in this world." Angel explained. "She made herself appear to you, but she wasn't really here." 

"What did she want??" Riley questioned. 

"It's a long story." Buffy said. "A long, *long* story." 

She surreptitiously stole a glance at Angel, and they shared a small smile. Buffy could nearly feel his lips on hers , despite the fact that they were now several feet away from each other. She could feel his hands running over her back, the brush of his cheek against hers, the scrape of his teeth against her lower lip.... 

She let out a quiet moan, gaining attention from the other occupants of the room. 

She blushed bright red. "Ahh...head...hurt....sore...I have a headache." 

Angel was immediately at her side, concerned. She nearly wailed at his close proximity. The phantom touches grew stonger, unil she thought she would scream out loud. Her heartbeat and breathing quickened, and she flushed. She knew Angel had to have noticed, and looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Are you okay, Buffy?" He asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. Without even realizing it, Buffy arched into the touch. 

He lifted an eyebrow, and his lips twisted into a smile. They nearly forgot that they weren't alone in the mansion. until Riley spoke. 

"I have some aspirin if you want it." He said, holding up a silver strip of pills. 

Buffy shook her head no. "They screw with my Slayer senses." She lied. "I might just go lie down." She said. "And I need to speak to Angel for a minute." 

She cocked her head to the side, indicating that he should follow her. They walked together into his bedroom, where Buffy closed the door behind them. She turned, leaning against it. 

"In there...Did you feel that?" She asked. "I could feel you touching me..." 

"I know. Me too." He murmured. 

"So why have we gone all Ghost??" Buffy questioned, walking over and sitting on the bed. He sat down next to her. 

"Does it matter?" Angel asked her, looking into her eyes. "I mean...it's not like we have to avoid temptation, anymore." 

"I know, but...certain situations, like now...." Buffy pointed out. "I'd feel sorta weird jumping you when my ex-boyfriend and my psychology teacher are just afew metres away." 

"The storm won't be much longer." Angel assured her. 

"Better not be. I thik I'll go insane from wanting you so badly." She murmured. "And you know, been ther, done that. I don't want a repeat of last year." 

"It doesn't have to be like last year."Angel pointed out. "We don't have to avoid touching each other, beloved. We just have to keep it PG rated." 

Buffy laughed. "So you have no objections to me kissing you right now?" 

His lips twitched into a smile. "Do I look like a moron to you??" 

Buffy leaned over, and pressed her lips against his. 

Outside, the sky exploded in a rainbow of colour, and then faded to day. 

In an empty dorm room in Stevenson Hall, Willow collapsed from exhaustion. 

Majick storms were hard to conjure. 

****

Part 14 

Riley heard a loud bang, and then perfect, utter silence as the storm faded away. He went to the window, lifting the heavy blind away, and looked into the outside world. 

It was calm. 

He looked back at his mentor, and a silent agreement passed between them that they should leave the couple in the other room, and allow them to have some time together. 

As much as it hurt him, she deserved to be happy. 

So quickly, quietly, they gathered their things and left. 

*** 

Buffy dimly heard the front door open and close, and the knowledge that their companions were gone hit her quiickly. 

She pulled away from Angel for a moment, a huge smile spreading across her face as she pounced him, sending them both sprawling across the bed. 

"See, now we can get to the fun part." She said seriously, kissing her way down his chest. "Let's see you scowl through *this*, Brood Boy." 

Angel smiled, letting her have her way. 

Brooding was overrated. 

**** 

"You have done well, young spellcaster. All will be explained when your friends return." 

Willow stared, wide-eyed, at the woman before her. "I...Who are you? Why are you so interested in us?" 

"Because you are my warriors." The fine-boned woman said, cocking her head to the side, in a gentle, almost maternal way. "And I, your guide." 

"Warriors? Guide?" Willow was dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?" 

"I am known as the Oracle." The woman said, holding her head high. "My brother and I offer our services to warriors in need, though we both have a greater purpose." She smiled patiently at Willow. "Mine is to guide you through times of separation, and help you to find your way home." 

"Where is home?" Willow asked softly. 

The Oracle seemed almost startled. "You do not yet know?" 

Willow solemnly shook her head. 

"Home is each other." The Oracle said. "It is within you." 

Slowly, Willow nodded, accepting this as the truth. "Thankyou." 

"We shall meet again, young spellcaster." The Oracle said, as she shimmered, and faded into the dim light of the dorm room. 

"Goodbye...mother." Willow whispered, not fully comprehending her own words until she had already spoken them. 

And even when she did, they were no less real to her. 

And suddenly, the puzzle, the mystery of her odd family, was complete. 

__

Within you... 

****

The End 


End file.
